Monday, May 18, 2015

Dainik Jargon - Clubbed to Death - the election edition

Clubbed to Death

Barely a month into ISB, election season is upon us. The hullabaloo serves as a welcome break from the tedium of academics. I mean, who wouldn't love losing that useless mail  about a submission deadline in an endless heap of reminders to display enthu for aforementioned club. 

However, I am a little cross. I think the current catalog of clubs on offer fails to provide enough hot air to fully inflate my aspirational balloon. In my rapid climb to the top of the Maslow's pyramid at ISB, I need a few more rungs to settle and catch my breath. Here is a list of clubs I would like to see form and frolic. 

Fight Club
No no - no fisticuffs. Since we are all civilized and suited individuals, this a platform where we will settle disputes with verbal altercations with time tested traditions of verbal volleys and yelling matches. To join, you need to be a thoroughly detestable individual with an acid tongue and a caustic personality. Also it doesn't need external funds. The club will be financed through bets placed on verbal duels, every Thursday at the acad square.

Single Malt Club
As an alternative to the other madira based club - I suggest this awesome excuse of a club. In stead of pretending to be sophisticated while swirling red and white concoctions in long stemmed chute like glasses, we can pretend to be manly while sitting in a circle sipping expensive liquor, on the rocks, in ISB coffee cups and eating moong-daal namkeen.

Singles Club
This probably has some overlap with the music club. This is a club to appreciate and critique legendary songs that were not released as part of an album - classic rock singles, alt rock singles, well even Sonu Nigam singles. There is a possibility this club might attract a certain crowd by virtue of its name. My advice is - Shoo! Go away! Don't jinx us happy people with your single ready to mingle curse!

and last...

Bad Dancers' Club
As part of my 360 degree feedback, my colleagues mentioned my bad dancing as a potentially career ruining, leadership unraveling weakness.  After a 4-squared MAPS analysis to draw a straight line from where I was to where I wanted to go, I bumped headlong into a pole. Apparently, the dance club at ISB was out of bounds for bad dancers. I complained loudly and asked them to change their name to "(only if you can) Dance Club." After b-boying me out of the premises, the dance club enthusiasts asked me to go somewhere else. The proposed Bad Dancers' Club is my answer to that. In your face graceful and coordinated people!

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