Sunday, April 8, 2012

A Post on Porn


Indian men are a frustrated lot. I have spent a lot of time trying to decipher how this diagnosis of a minority of perverts became a truism for the majority. It's not only because of our conservative culture. Society in Iran is much more conservative. Yet, you never hear of Iranian men spoken of in the  same note. Psychoanalysts like Sudhir Kakar have theories of upper caste Brahmins and British rulers colluding to ensure sexual repression of the masses in the Victorian days of the Raj. Such theories, sound both far fetched and irrelevant to the bigger picture. There are a variety of factors at play here. I've made an attempt to explore, if not explain, one such latent reason. I have done my best to avoid double entendres and have kept "quoted" words to a minimum. Try to read this with a straight face. No snickering.

We, (Indian) boys have a sad childhood. Numbers, multiplication tables, mental maths and gulli cricket are our only companions as we grow up ill-equipped to deal with the emotional and social demands of the adult world. Interaction with the fairer sex is a big-big problem. It is never ever "normal" to have a female friend. It is either ridiculously exalted ("Meri ladkiyon se kaafi dosti hai") or is a subject of leg pulling comments ("Kaun thi wo ladki ?")

The female is an eternal enigma to the desi boy. This is evident from the fact that "bandiya/ bandiyo/ ladkiya/ ladkiyon" make up about half of his lexicon. The rest of which is dominated by cusswords, also generously sprinkled with references to female anatomy. It is an inevitable result of being brought up in an environment where girl-boy interactions are strictly regulated under watchful parental eyes. As in other cases in the national economy where various forms of regulation have caused smuggling and duty-evasion to proliferate, this regulation has also led boys to seek an alternate avenue to the female world.

Bless the internet. The dot com decade triggered a massive explosion of an audio-visual, cinematic art form that focuses entirely on both whetting and satisfying this curiosity at the same time. Internet porn dawned with a promise to provide us this information in graphic detail at the click of a button, a set of earphones, both parents asleep and the door to the room tightly shut. We boys could finally be properly educated. And oh my, did we learn!

Lesson 1: The female is always submissive 
Isn't it obvious? Why then would she allow that grotesquely tattooed, heavyset man to take her so violently? It's not because the two are in love (that would be a bummer) and she obviously seems to enjoy it.

Lesson 2: The bigger, the better
The fashion industry celebrates size zeroes and models with wafer-thin cross sections. Not the porn industry. It has gone out of its way to promote a healthy body image (I am especially thankful to the Mallu version for playing the Good Samaritan). For the dudes this works the other way round, hitting them where it hurts the most. Brought up on the metric system, the guys get a cruel introduction to inches as a unit of measurement. 

Lesson 3:  Girls are loose, Firang girls more so
We can probably attribute the demand in the Bollywood audience for Eastern European backup dancers to porn and Yana Gupta (who's from the Czech Republic). "With hair as black as ebony, and skin as white as snow" goes the norm. God forbid if it's the other way round. 
Also, blondes are preferred. 

Lesson 4: In the west, 'it' happens in the most banal of situations. Sadly not here
Porn productions often have a plot line and a setting that involve the most commonplace of backdrops, where somehow the “action” erupts spontaneously. 
In fact, Lesson-4 remains the no.1 reason for Indian males opting to study abroad. Forget the lack of good colleges here, it is the slim chance that the pabulum of college life might be intercepted by a banal situation similar to the one described above has motivated them to ace SAT, GRE and GMAT year after year.


As the above contorted lessons that we picked up have made it clear, the internet has served as an incredibly poor substitute to common sense.


The advent of Internet porn has changed how the young male population has traditionally looked at sex (no pun intended) and sexuality. This skewed change of views coupled with ossified attitudes towards the subject has led to a situation where libido is celebrated while sexual freedom is denied. The intrinsic voyeurism of a sexually repressed society is being exploited to sell everything from deodorant and soaps to underwear and even toothpaste. The result is an increase in bottled lecherousness which inadvertently reveals itself in ways ranging from eyeballing to sexual harassment. 

Porn isn't going anywhere. I only wish there was a more dignified outlet to our 'frustrations'. 









11 comments :

  1. I suggest an addition in the reaction options. Something like *EPIC* would fit!
    Hilarious article. Made me travel down the memory lane in RKP when prankster Jovin and his partner in lust Abhishek Gupta would try and indulge in their teenage fantasies, and that too in the Robotics Lab of all places!!
    BUT the one outrageous point to be noted milord,is that you were one of those rare species in RKP with an almost saint like personality, having reprimanded your cousin for having watched porn as I remember? So dude, when did the saint HC Verma take the plunge from being a champion of sophisticated love scenes to "bang n stuff"! :D And that too in such intricate detail my!

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    Replies
    1. Saale tujhe to kaafi yaad hai.
      I haven't take the plunge my friend, merely aiming my jibes at those who have ;-).
      And "champion of sophisticated love scenes" !! LOL

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  2. OK, really, what were you looking for when you found that video?! Haha... great article, did bring some umm... memories back :P
    Although, I do wonder now... when at its peak (your first year?), was ragging a manifestation of that pent-up sexual fantasy of some perverted minority?

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  3. Beautifully Written and so aesthetically presented dude ... The Heading could be "THE PORN PURAAN" .. :D

    The next time i will hear about the Carrot & Sticks philosophy, surely the representation of carrot in your pic will conjure up with inches as its unit of measurement ... So cheekily you managed to write about such a lovable topic that even MNS People cant catch you on allegations of using objectionable content ... Way to go buddy .. I think i can see the Budding Kushwant Singh in you, who has already boarded the Lecherous Train to Pornistan .. :D :D

    Keep Writing dude ... Always a nice experience reading your blogs ...

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  4. In Iran, child marriage is popular (so, it should be pretty clear why they don’t have ‘that’ frustration), plus they have more serious stuff to worry about, so no point in discussing as to on what note they are talked about.

    About the sad childhood of Indian boys, I don’t think that’s the case. Plus, the age you are talking about is when we didn’t even hit puberty, let alone sexual desires.

    Interaction with fairer sex is a problem everywhere, not just here. Please don’t consider Hollywood movies for your reference. And if you do, please also consider Bollywood movies for the same. I don’t think Bollywood movies have any less interaction. Though, I agree on the point that girl-boy interactions are never looked upon with the same eyes here.

    The cusswords: Please refer the same for other parts of the world as well. I’m sure you’ll find a lot of similarity between them.

    The Internet: The dot coms don’t actually target Indian audiences if you think about it. Nonetheless, we are benefitted from it. Though, it does prove that we are not the only junta who are obsessed with it. Though, statistics do go against us, thanks to overpopulation.

    #Lesson 1 & 2: Its same around the world.

    #Lesson 3 & 4: The reason ‘you’ are preparing for GRE/SAT. Let us face it: Indian girls are not as ‘open’ as western girls. Come to think of it, isn’t that the reason why you like them better? And if you do come around such ‘open’ Indian girls, I don’t think I need to explicitly say the word with which she is bestowed. Dual behaviour, eh?

    Internet porn has definitely had some effect on us Indians but don’t you think it is for the better? If it is ‘frustration’ you talk about, then isn’t it better to take out your ‘frustration’ in front of a screen rather than ‘”revealing itself in ways ranging from eyeballing to sexual harassment”?

    And not just that, in terms of education as well. I’m pretty sure you would know more about ‘it’ than any rickshaw guy who goes to a brothel every night.

    What I mean to say is, I don’t think Internet porn is an outlet to our frustrations. Rather, it is an outlet to the basic human requirement like food to eat or air to breathe, i.e., sexual desires. Now if you say something about how our sexual desires are curbed, that would be something.

    P.S.: This is just my point of view and is limited to my limited knowledge. Quite possible that no one here agrees with me, I understand. :)

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    1. I totally agree with the Iran point. As far as porn being an outlet is concerned, it is as much an outlet for 'frustration' as cocaine (or coffee for me) is an outlet for stress. It gives you a temporary high, but then you have to come back for more. In between you are cranky as hell and more frustrated than you were to begin with.

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  5. Awesome article!!you have a way with words and with understanding psyche...

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  6. You know....more than your blog, I enjoyed the comments above... :D :D
    .
    You are indeed a 'mistry' - one who'll 'play' with his 'tools' and conjure up any possible 'solution', for the achievement of just one out'come' - the device must be fixed (no pun intended, anywhere)
    You've done a great job with words here..... awesome work man!!!

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  7. Dude, you forgot personal sexual gratification, also referred to as masturbation, altogether. Saare fasaat ki jad wohi hai (I don't think there can be any puns here, can they?).

    Wonder if you read this guy, btw.

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    Replies
    1. Arnab Da? Yes.
      And about PSG, methinks it is a symptom rather than the jad of the problem itself.

      Delete
  8. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRJ_QfP2mhU

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